Gerald Giam, Main Stories, Top Story - Written on Friday, August 29, 2008 8:38 - 9 Comments
Don’t be a stupid cupid
Gerald Giam / Deputy Editor
This is the first of a two-part series in response to the marriage and parenthood package announced by the Prime Minister in his National Day Rally speech 2008.

In his National Day Rally speech, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong announced a slew of measures to increase Singapore’s fertility rate. It was the second time since taking over as prime minister in 2004 that he had sought to tackle this pressing national issue, which has often been cited as the most critical issue facing our young but ageing nation.
Mr Lee explained the two-pronged approach to reversing the trend of low birth rates: Firstly, encouraging people to get married, and secondly, encouraging couples to have children.
Earlier intervention needed
It appears that the Government’s solution to the problem of young people not getting married or marrying too late is merely a tweaking of the same approach that has delivered limited success so far, that is, to fund the matchmakers.
The marriage problem in Singapore is three-fold: Firstly, people putting off marriage until too late; Secondly, society’s attitudes towards marriage, and thirdly, higher divorce rates.
When couples get married too late, they will often have more difficulty conceiving. Many may give up trying and simply opt not to have kids. The issue of older, educated women not getting married is well known and needs no further explaining.
To tackle the problem of late marriages or no marriages, we need to focus on not just singles in their 30s, but also younger people in their late teens and early 20s.
Once people leave school or university, their casual social circle tends to shrink dramatically. The uphill task of finding a partner begins from the first day of work. Therefore if the government really wants to throw money at the problem, it should consider funding matchmaking programmes directed at university-age students. This is a group that most private matchmaking agencies will likely avoid as they don’t have as much disposable income as older singles.
Even pre-university students could be beneficiaries of programmes encouraging marriage. I do not advocate matchmaking for teenagers, but there could be more programmes advising students on how to prepare oneself to be a more ideal partner in future. These programmes could cover issues like respecting oneself and the opposite sex, encouraging abstinence before marriage, healthy sexual behaviour, financial management, and grooming and etiquette, among others.
Mindset changes
Society’s attitudes towards marriage have also changed since a generation ago. Nowadays, young people no longer see marriage as critical to leading a fulfilling life. Alternative lifestyles abound and young people have many other life options to choose from. It doesn’t help that the media often portrays being married and having children as signing away one’s individual freedom.
Parents and society also need to change their mindsets that young people should wait until they have graduated and are settled in a well-paying job before considering marriage.
Too often, the excuse for not getting married is simply that it costs too much. If couples are prepared to have simple wedding ceremonies and live simply in the first few years of their marriage, it is actually quite affordable to get married.
The role of religion
The PM did not mention the critical role religion plays in getting people hitched and having kids. All the major religions in Singapore strongly encourage marriage and childbearing. Many couples met each other in church or other houses of worship.
While it would be a stretch to suggest that the Government should fund faith-based programmes that promote marriage and parenthood, this is an angle that policymakers should not overlook, given that 85% of Singaporeans have their worldviews shaped by religion.
Reducing divorces
The divorce rate in Singapore has been rising with each successive year. For couples who divorce before bearing children, this further delays childbearing or causes many to completely abandon any plans to have kids.
An increasing divorce rate has a knock-on effect on younger Singaporeans. As broken marriages become more pervasive in society, it could put off other people from getting married in the first place as they would increasingly question whether marriage is really worth the trouble and heartache.
To reduce the number of unhappy marriages in Singapore, our society needs to urgently look into this problem.
Summary
There is no silver bullet that can encourage people to get married earlier, and it is definitely not something the Government can or should do alone. It will require a national effort led by, most importantly, singles themselves, but with assistance from non-government organisations and religious institutions in partnership with the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.
————
Related posts:
9 Comments
Marriage is not a production model. It is an institution that fundamentally even the PAP fail to grasp beyond demographics.
Marriage is about how you treat one and another and even in your family. It’s a total mindset.
How then can this govt be worried about fertility rates like it is some pragmatic inventory recycling project?
You should see Barrack Obama’s speech. It puts us to shame when we have lost our spirit and promise, the latter which has become disfigured. Is there any inspiring mindset change coming that reaches out to the young adults and the young at heart?
If I were American (for all the flaws of USA), I’d be inspired … wish I was there.
The root of the problem has not been tackled.
It seems all solutions given by govt are aimed at the more middle and highly educated group.
More can be done at the eariler stages before one goes out to work.
Most have the mentality of earn more money… earn more money… as priority…
Something would have to be done to change this.
Surprised that no-one from TOC is challenging the premise that S’poreans need to breed more.
Does the economy need it? Maybe not?I don’t know.
But we S’porean’s should not blindly trust govmin on this issue. A govmin that has Ms “Pang Sai” as a poster FT MP does not deserve our blind trust.
Andrew
“encouraging abstinence before marriage”
Waz wrong with premarital sex?
The issue is commitement and responsibility, not whether got licence or not!
just import babies from china…problem solve
Hi Gerard,
You said:
It appears that the government’s solution to the problem of young people not getting married or marrying too late is merely a tweaking of the same approach that has delivered limited success so far, that is, to fund the matchmakers.
I agree that the Government is trying the same approach that has failed for more than 20 years (since 1985). This failed approach comprises of:
a) Give generous tax rebates (but little for those who do not pay tax)
b) Require co-payment into a baby account
c) Complicated system with difficult rules of eligibility and cutoff dates
Unfortunately, this is the Singapore approach. The incentivs are generally inadequate and complicated. One has to spend a lot of time and seek a lot of explanation to understand the incentives, and usually are disapponted at not qualifying. Many people give up.
What is a simpler approach? They are the measures adopted in several countries, with a higher degree of success:
a. Give tax breaks
b. Give monthly allowance for a child
c. Adequate child care facilities, largely tax funded
d. Subsidy or cash grants for child delivery
I like the system in Australis:
a. AUD 5,000 cash grant to pay delivery charges
b. 5 months of paid leave for the mother
c. Allowance for the mother who stop working to take care of the baby during the first two years.
What’s the point of incentives to encourage marriages and giving birth when Singaporeans will only take time to research on available incentives when they plan to get married? I concur with the author that the key issue here would be tackling the mindset that marriage only comes in naturally as one’s progress milestone after achieving a stable career.
fund religious based organisations to “match make”? you got to be joking right? why do state funds have to be used on religious organisations? and the organisations you are talking about are usually Christian and Islamic. Hinduism and Buddhism doesn’t have official “social gathering” among it’s members.
and with the type of people Christians have, i don’t think i want my tax dollars to fund institutions that can become like USA’s where religion is not separated from the state (as anyone who follows US politics knows).
keep my tax dollars away from religious organisations. we are a secular state, no religion(s) should get any money from it.
Leave a Reply
Uncategorized - Jan 15, 2010 10:12 - 126 Comments
It is affordable – Mah Bow Tan
More In Uncategorized
- Rebutting Law Minister K Shanmugam
- Challenge of communication
- TOC & Talk Politics hold successful Year in Review forum
- “Live” from Post Museum – TOC’s Year End Review
- The Fajar Generation
Uncategorized - Jan 15, 2010 10:12 - 126 Comments
It is affordable – Mah Bow Tan
More In Uncategorized
- Rebutting Law Minister K Shanmugam
- Challenge of communication
- TOC & Talk Politics hold successful Year in Review forum
- “Live” from Post Museum – TOC’s Year End Review
- The Fajar Generation


Marriage & having children are personal decisions. If the person marry someone that does not meet their expectations, divorce may ensue thus creating more social problems all the more for those with kids. We should attract more single & well paid foreigners to Singapore instead. Then Singaporeans will not have to limit themselves to locals as marriage partners.