Gilbert Goh
In this down time and over the festivities of the lunar Chinese New Year, it is good to take time to reflect on what we really want in our lives.
During the past few years of prosperity, many have concerned themselves with making money and precious time was sacrificed which could have been spent with our loved ones. However, what has gone cannot be unwound and we only can look forward now.
Moreover, in Singapore, the constant urge to upgrade ourselves is so strong that everything else takes a backseat. We upgrade our cars, houses, handphones, laptops, pets and even furniture. I remember once we had a good sized leather sofa set but was tempted to change it to the linen cushion kind as the leather sofa was rather warm after a while when we sat on it. It was less than a year old and finally we decided not to change it as it would have meant coughing up at least a thousand dollars more. However, on reflection, the thought of changing a good sofa set me to think whether I was being spendthrift and wasteful.
As Singapore grapples with a severe downturn, we may also want to examine our life values. What really motivate us as we pursue our goals? Is it the tangible pursuit of wealth or constant chase after material stuff? Will we be happier if we had the cherished condominium or dream sports car?
While working in China, I often visited a tea shop owned by a mother-daughter team. Seeing how a Singaporean busied himself, even in a rural province in China, the Chinese woman owner often advised me: “No need to be so hurried in life and also no need to earn so much money.” Though her words were simple, it struck a chord within me, especially when I felt the stress of adapting to life back here in Singapore.
I see that people here rush about the whole time and in the process they also seldom find the time and to build relationships which will enrich their lives. Having worked and lived in both China and Australia for short periods, I feel that we have paid a high price for our supposed prosperity. People here do not find the time to enjoy the finer things in life or even learn to slow down and smell the roses. Life simply rushes and passes them by.
In Australia, weekends are the best time to unwind and the locals head for the beaches or flea markets. They have learned the art of separating work from play and somehow I find that the Aussie lifestyle is very balanced. Shops all close at 6pm and the pursuit of materialism takes on a lower priority than here. Often, they work hard on the weekdays but also play hard during weekends. We can’t say the same for our locals here who sometimes sleep-in during the weekends to catch up on lost sleep after they have battled hard at work – often for ten hours or more to make ends meet. We are like slaves to our work.
As we take time to celebrate the festive season and catch up with friends and relatives, do also take some time for yourself to really ask, “What can I do to make myself a better person? Am I really happy with what I am right now? Are there things that I can improve on? What really are my life values and goals?”
Have a prosperous and healthy Chinese New Year!
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Picture from: My Fortunate Cookie.
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Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
(c) Max Ehrman 1926
There are only 2 types of people in Singapore
1. Money is not enough (80% of population who has 20% of money)
2. Money is never enough (20% of population who has 80% of money)
Its the common 80/20 scenario. Until the 20% elite decides to take the lead and start a culture of money-not-so-important, the remaining 80% will think what Gilbert is talking is bullsh*t.
It depends on what you want in your life.
Hate to be blunt here but I have to.
If you want money and is working hard for it but isn’t relatively well off yet, you haven’t worked hard enough or smart enough.
In order not to be working at the age of 65, just put in an astronomical amount of effort now. And put that effort into something that will pay off. If you’re working for $2000 a month with yearly increment guaranteed, will you be rich by your own standards?
For me, I’ll be working 14 days, 7 days a week from now on until I start my own web company. That’s beside the perm job I have which takes up 8 hours on a 5 day week.
For people who have ridiculous amount of money, you never hear them saying their didn’t put in ridiculous amount of effort.
Why do I need so much money?
Actually I don’t. I just want to experience the thrill of starting a business. Money is just a byproduct.
I am sure that people here will agree that we all need to live simply. I have compiled a list and hope that this will apply for some here:
1. Buy a modest house and never try to take more than 50% loan on your value of your house i.e.if your house is valued at $300,000 do not take more than $150,000 loan and try to pay it off in the shortest possible time.
2. Buy everything with cash and if you use credit card try to pay them off when the bill arrives.
3. Never change a electrical product that is working – I have seen too many people changing their TV set because they want the latest slim flat panel TV. I was surprised that my brother still retained his old fat 27 in Panasonic TV that is considered an antique nowadays. Power to him!
4. Never change your car if you need to trade in your old car at a loss. Some cars I see still have “life”even though they reach the old age of 10 years old. Try to drive it till it is dead to derive the maximum value out of the vehicle. Too many people lose money while changing cars.
5. Only buy a hosuehold item when you have the cash from savings or bonuses. Also ask yourself do you need that item or want it?
6. Instead of going for the movie which is now priced at about $9.50 a head, why not try to head to the beaches here which is free of charge. Family time spend sometimes can be free and our children only needs us to be around them. The company counts more than the things we do.
7. Living simply also means trying to clear your home of clutter. Give away your old books and CDs – those that were stored away in unopened boxes in the storeroom.You can donate them to the Salvation Army who will sell them for charitable causes.
8. Simple living also trying to give of yourself to others. Try to think of a charitable cause that you can contribute to. Too many of us here living our life for ourselves and half the time it is due to money making reasons.
9. Try to do things from an altrusic angle rather than questioning whether it can provide us with monetary returns. While starting an unemployment support site http://www.transitioning.org, many ask me if the cause can generate money for me. I am surprised that not many really see the value of altrusic return.
10. Always live our life with the end in mind. We all have a short life and it is always good to live it well and honourable. If we live our life by accumulating wealth, we may never have fully achieve what we can do with our life.
Hope this help.
7.
Have to hand it to you Gilbert, you sure know what it takes to add life to years instead of adding years to life.
i havent read all of the comments, but sometimes people forget that we have a choice no matter what, its called free will. to me its the kind of person we choose to be and the kind of things we fight for that defines who we are, i dont think anything else can and shall. so the next qn is how do we choose. someone once told me we choose based on worth.
i suppose money is just a tool, ppl get obsessed with such things and their sense of worth and value gets screwed up.
choose well people.
one more thing, ppl on tv say they want to achieve their dreams, when they are no more than obsessions of money and fame. bleh, it has a big impact, but ppl do have a choice, what they wan to live for.
quote from movie, But remember that, even when those who move you be kings or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone.
hope whoever read this got my point :)
I am not materialistic, I just need a job to pay for my HDB flat, school fee for my kids, foods for the family, medical expenses when we fall sick.
Now that my job was replaced by China young man, I can’t open a kiosk in front of my high-floor HDB flat to sell tea to passes-by like the China rural folks.
if i tell you peeps
i survived on $600/month
would you believed it?
all my home/bike/whateverbarangs are fully paid
even to the extend of
overpayin my utilities/handfone bills by 6 months AHEAD
i eat WISELY
too expensive menu
i forgo
even to a cup of softdrink/copi C when i am outside
not because i am cheapskate
do i need a drink
if i am eatin soupbased meal?
don’t even enticed me to go
macdonald/starbuck
those were THE days
today
do i need to show my face in starbuck?
for who/whom
and most of the time i endup diggin MY pocket
payin for OTHERs….
i only entertained my closed kakis
if i make a few dollar$
if not
i order for MESELF 1 single cup copi C
direct
for if they are my true kaki
they should know why
simply because
I told them my situation
i don’t lie/show off…..
#55, 56,
Majority of singaporeans do not have land to have fish farm or pig farm or chicken farm or veg farm to be self sufficient.
Whatever they do in singapore needs money.
They live in a tiny city which itself is the country.
2million then 4.5million and going for the 6.5 million population.
Life is hectic. Life is competitive. Life is busy and stressful till the end.
not much things to do on weekends or holidays here.
It takes only a while to experience all things in singapore.
and then it gets boring.
Quality of life is questionable.
Someone instilled 5C mentality in singaporeans.
They only think about 5Cs and their lives revolve around the 5Cs.
Ho Teo Thong #59 said it right,
we lost all our farming and fishing(not fish rearing) using nets and kelongs.
As I have posted and asked at other sites, why are former villagers doing small scale farmings all resettled to HDB livings and many of the repossesed lands left unused except for the occasional stealth activities of criminals and illegal foreign immigrants?
Why the heck did the villagers got resettled for????
patriot
the best way to appreciate anything here is to be away….
yes – think in terms of 100 years block to try to achieve immortality..
the grass seems greener on the other side….honestly it is not (with only the continent of South America not worked in, can attest ….)
singaporeans are mainly croaking (complaining) frogs in a well- you think you know much, when all you can do is centre around speaking some one else’s language… you look down on everybody of your own kind and create problems by your own doing – and guess who are the beneficiaries?….
forget about your leaders if you are so incensed and cannot vote them out…. just lead yourself.
well guys – do more than TOC for your own sake, do not waste you time sniffling frangipani relegated to the cementries…..
Make your move before your mortal time is up….
In singapore it is no good to be” no need to be hurried in life,,,,no need to make money..” Opium smoking is encouraged by british colonalists……
Thank you guys for stirring me to respond……
moshetumy who survived on 600/month…thats quite impressive. was this in recent years?!?
I am sorry dear Singaporeans but we are too small to bum around and “smell the roses.” Unfortunately we do not have the luxuries of palm trees, rubber or oil. So what we lack in natural resources, we make up for in humans.
“No need to be so hurried in life and also no need to earn so much money.” That is surely not shared amongst most of the Chinese in China.
We live in a world where you can either join the rat-race or be left behind. It is one’s choice but I choose to work like hell to buy myself a nice condo and continental car.
haze on January 30th, 2009 6.02 pm moshetumy who survived on 600/month…thats quite impressive. was this in recent years?!?
yes till today
you want to know my dinner menu?
$0.80cts packard udong mixed with $1.20 frozen fishball (can be divided into 6 meal/mixed if kept in freezer
damned delicious dirt cheap as well
please take note
not everynight udong meal hor
or else hawkers centre went berserk and bankrupt…
do it alternately
if you have to
did try 4 dinners straight in 4 evennins
different flavours
still damned delicious…
Gilbert,
Thanks for speaking the truth from your heart. I read the first twenty or so posts and decided not to read further. I am awed by how many people here chant the mantra that Singapore has no natural resources and therefore must work beyond 65. Well, if they want to close their eyes and ears and minds then let them be. I have learnt that unsolicited advice is seldom appreciated. When they break down and then pay to see a shrink, then they will listen to the same advice, feeling good that they have paid good money for good advice.
That is the reality of life to most.
As for me, I fully agree with you and in fact retired at 45. No, I did not strike lottery as I do not buy lottery. No, I did not inherit millions. The idea that one must have millions in order to retire is a myth generated by financial advisers who are dreaming of making millions when you buy their ideas.
It is completely possible and doable once one is willing to open up to the possibilities and shift his or her paradigm. Right now most people buy the conventional story and stop thinking further. I know it can be done because I have done it. I am doing it because I do not want to drop dead early while working. Stress can kill and it has killed.
At the end of the day, to each his own. After all, it is their lives and they have the right to do what they want with it. Life is finite and it does not make sense to work till we drop.
We cannot compare with our leaders because their lives are different. They can afford to work till past 85. If you can get their jobs then you can too. But for the rest of us lesser mortals, our working lives are different. So it makes sense for some to work past 85. Do what makes sense to you and your lives.
Another thought for readers to ponder. This is what made me look at things from another angle and changed my paradigm permanently.
We all believed we are different from all other living things and whatever your religion we think we are at the very top of evolution. Certain religious groups believe that we are made in the likeness of God.
Look at all the animals and plants around us. Do they need to work to survive? The bees, birds and insects. All lesser beings than us. Do they have to work the way we do it? Why? Think about it.
All that man experienced now is created by man himself. They believed in certain paradigms that has been put into their minds. If we are the chosen species and we are so loved by God and we are the most intelligent beings on earth, then why on earth we have to suffer more than the lesser living things? Think long and hard and you will find the answer within yourselves.
Once you think through and shift your paradigms then you are liberated.
Hi Gilbert Goh,
I think what you have said hit the nail on the head. I’m fresh just out of school and I see a lot people with only $ in their brain. Can you provide some guidance. You seems well-educated, what makes you want to consider doing insurance you’ve mentioned. Are you still in the insurance business? How long did you take to reach your current insight on life?
44) gemami on January 28th, 2009 11.45 am
Great great post
Kudos to moshetumy. I too had that sort of lifestyle once before I was married and have a child. I used to survive only on $200 per month. So $600 is still quite a lot of money isn’t it? =)
With a child, it’s kind of impossible. I eat only 1 meal everyday at 11pm (instant noodles – cost only $0.40 per packet) and adding NOTHINg else.
I breastfeed because it saves me $$ on formula milk. My child wears clothes that cost $1 per piece. My child has nothing – No toys, no books, nothing. He just turned 1 and yet there was also no celebration for him.
I don’t buy clothes (still wearing clothes that I bought 15 years ago), don’t buy CD, don’t watch movies, don’t go shopping (the last time I went out was like 2 years ago).
And yet, my office income of $1200 (take home pay) was simply NOT enough prompting me to resign from my well loved job after my maternity leave.
Why? Because our dearest SINGAPORE INFANT CARE cost $1360 per month (monday to Friday) for me to place my baby in there, a nanny cost $1000 too. On top of that, we have to pay $1000 rental monthly to my mother while waiting for our HDB to be completed in another 5 years time.
Now, tell me, is the above lifestyle not simple enough? Or should I be going with just 1 slice of bread per day for my daily meals?
Just vote out the clowns la.
actually singapore offers a poor deal for the same amount of effort.
if not for my parents & personally not wanting to become a minority in another country i would be gone by now.
my friends in australia recently laugh at me for paying 100grand for a “stupid” japanese car. they think i am a little daft.
i work harder than my peers with similar qualifications in australia and yet arguably i get a poorer quality of life.
their “cheapskate” house over there cost less n is bigger than my HDB unit.