Gilbert Goh / Writer
Professional counseling is a viable option for those who are unemployed.
FOR those feeling hopeless or depressed as they are without a job, it is time to consider professional counseling support.
They are many family service centres (FSC) out there that provides counseling support and it can be provided free if you explain your current financial situation to them. There is no shame in this and we should put away our ego here.
(Photo: Don’t let anguish get the better of you. Courtesy of sxc.hu)
Unemployment is ranked as the sixth most stressful event of one’s life, with losing one’s spouse through death or a divorce occupying the top few spots according to a study done in University of Birmingham in 2001.
Adverse Effect Of Unemployment
Unemployment sucks out whatever optimism you have inside of you and will often reduce one to having sleepless nights as unemployment has no defined time frame. Unemployment also hits a man hard especially heads of household as it hurts the self-esteem and man’s natural tendency to provide for the family.
That is why it is important for the unemployed to protect his emotions and mind well. He needs to fill them up with positive thinking through reading motivational books, having positive self-talks, and by mixing around with positve people. Going for regular exercises also helps to lift up one’s mood as it is found that when the body moves rapidly in motion, it sends oxygen and blood pumping through his system producing feel-good endorphins.
Unemployment particularly affects one’s finances which also directly impact basic needs such as food and shelter. The Maslow’s hierarchy of needs details a man’s search for fulfillment from food and shelter to the narrower-based self worth and purpose.
For the extreme cases, some take their own life as they face constant pressures from bankers for mortgages or bank loans taken when times are good. We have read how some high-profiled executives took their own life as they lost millions in the current financial crisis. Some could not see how they can continue living on having lost so much of their hard earned money in stocks and shares.
Many also live their life chasing after materialism, attaching much value to gathering tangible stuff such as houses and cars. Much of their self-worth is lost when they lose their material goods during this crisis. Unless they find new value and meaning in living again after such losses, many will feel that they have failed in their life.
A banker friend of mine killed himself during the SARS period after one year of unemployment. I felt that suicide is most unnecessary and can be avoidable if the situation is managed properly. Again, this is easier say than done. I find that those with a higher adversity threshold tends to hold up better than those without. Frankly, this period of joblessness is a gift to build up our resilience which is so lacking among people nowadays due to long period of prosperity and comfort in our country.
Counselling For Everyone
I was fortunate to have a friend who works in the social service sector whom I met regularly during my unemployment period. Though our regular meetings could not be counted as professional counseling sessions, his unwavering support and encouragement have helped me turn my life around.
It is also this friend who later recommended that I work part-time in his workplace. I am eternally thankful to him for helping me out of my predicament. By talking it out, it is a form of emotional release for me as it helps loosen the knots within.
I find that it is tough for guys here to seek counseling support for their problems. There is the pride issue and it is also shameful for one to open up to another person about their problem. However, having attended some counseling sessions on my own before, I find that counseling is very therapeutic and can bring instant mental relief for one who is deeply troubled.
As the counselor is a stranger to me, I also have the freedom to share everything without feeling that he will judge me as some friends may do. Most counselors will also walk through the options with me and regular sessions of at least once fortnightly is recommended. There are occasions that I actually looked forward to seeing my counselor after a particularly bad spell.
Women have less issues seeking counseling support. Maybe they have less of an ego problem than men and will not hesitate to seek whatever help they can get from their own sister friends. Man has a big ego problem when it comes to seeking help and being vulnerable.
It is timely that more men come forward to speak about their problems openly so that others may know that they are not alone and that seeking help is not an unmanly thing to do.
Family Service Centre
Professional counseling is provided from the following family service centers located all around Singapore:
- Care Corner Family Service Centre
- Fei Yue Family Service Centre
- Tanjong Pagar Family Service Centre
- Marine Parade Family Service Centre
- Singapore Buddhist Lodge Vision Family Service Centre
- Rotary Family Service Centre
Bear in mind that as family service centers work with people that stay within their precinct do contact the staff first before going down for their services. You don’t want to make a wasted trip when you go to the wrong FSC nearest you. Some also see clients by appointment so do contact them first.
Most FSCs are also located within HDB neighbourhood area and often housed in void decks. However, the interior is nice and warm, giving one a feeling of calmness and peace. Most counseling rooms are decently renovated with cushions, paintings and sofas to provide clients with the right ambiance for sharing one’s problem. You will be surprised how fast one hour passes by when you have the right environment to offload your problem.
Most FSCs also charge a token of $20 to $50 per session but fees may be waived if the person has financial difficulty. Sessions are carried out by trained counselors and discreetly with the client’s privacy well-guarded.
Of course if you have the means, you can consult a professional counselor who charges anything from $100 – $200 per session of one hour each. You have the comfort of privacy and comfort not found yet in FSCs as they still deal with the masses.
Unfortunately, counselling has yet to take off fully here perhaps due to the stigma attached to people seeking help. It is largely due to the ego of most people here especially men who shy away from seeking help as it stabs at their manhood and the I-am-alright mentality. I hope that people in distress then here will not hesitate to seek assistance either from their friends who show care or their loved ones. We should find solace and support from the ones closest to us if possible.
Personally, a session with a counsellor can bring forth much relief and peace of mind. Often, we do not really need solutions from the counselor but just the opportunity to offload what is on our heart. The human mind is built in such a way that if we keep on accumulating issues and do not discharge them we will explode one day. So take a chance and see a counselor. It is not so frightening after all and certainly not a shameful thing to do.
Financial Counselling
Financial counseling can also be sought at Credit Counselling Centre whereby trained officers will try to assist clients who have problem repaying credit loans. They will write in to the respective financial institutions to try to find a way to resolve the crisis. Though I have not seek advice from the centre, I have heard from friends that they are effective and reliable.
Again, if the person is unwilling to seek help, the resources will go to waste. So pay them a visit and bring with you all the bank loan documents so that they can assist you readily. It is never too late to seek help.
When we break down after a prolonged period of depression the problem may turn chronic requiring medical intervention and sometimes hospitalisation. This is so unnecessary as Singapore has several hundreds of certified counsellors with many willingly doing it for free. Transitioning has a team of voluntary qualified counsellors all ready to assist you. Just email me at gilbert@transitioning.org for a counsellor anytime any day. We are here to help you.
So many branches. Are these Franchise?
When you still have a job, try to save some money.
Live well within your means and don’t stretch your finances.
Through above build and grow a buffer to prepare for bad times.
In the animal world, animals will eat more to prepare for winter and they wll just rest and go into hibernation during winter. Animals rely on no one except themselves for survival.
Humans should also learn from animals on survival instincts.
When you need counselling during bad times, things are already too little, too late.
how about creating more kopitiam outlets to employ lonely ahpeks so they can be useful making more coffees for white collar workers to drink than loitering in void decks?
i think we need to create more mental clinics and address certain “diseases” before we send the lonely old man in the picture back to work. i am sure, our the resident old man will approve.
Hey, let’s not denigrate the Ah Peks. Ah Peks are highly regarded for their wisdom and experience … from the 70s you know.
In fact, Ah Peks are better deployed to give talks in schools so our young can see for themselves what their future going to be like.
that’s a good idea. good for ahpeks morale.
Are these FSC run by PAP, Gilbert?
I wonder.
So, who pay and pay these councilors?
Are they considered professional psychologists like those highly paid psychologists?
Is this a line/business worth investing in?
Very strange leh, today MSM ST also talk about FSC, our Gilbert also promoting FSC.
must be buy-toto day liao.
why do you need professionals? don’t they also contradicts each other?
employ ah peks since they like talking so much. maybe, they can become less senile. lol
dont see the ah pek crouched like that in the picture. you never hear the prowess of….drunken dragon crouching tiger? wait the ah pek wait up and flash then you know. hahaa
Gilbert,
I stopped full time work when I was 50 during the Asian Financial crisis. I was a MNC Asia Pacific Regional manager. It was really difficult to find work esp most employers deemed I was too old. Ten years have passed and I managed with some part time work in some years but thanks to my practice of saving for retirement when I started work, I am able to live a decent standrad of living despite having not work for a long time to support my family.
But it is a sheer waste of trainned manpower from the macro perspective but then it is really very competitive at this level so what to do?
jokers. lol
Counseling worked for Gilbert, the writer.
But that doesn’t mean it will work for you.
End of the day, you must find your own way but objective is same for all. How to get enough money, that is. Maybe that’s how Gilbert discovered and achieved his objective.
<>
Friends who supported you when you are down are real friends. I understand.
I was unemployed for two years a few years ago. It wasn’t easy not knowing what to do when you wake up everyday.
Most of the so-called “friends” just disappeared. A few offered advice and support. Nothing material, just kind words, a cup of coffee, a piece of useful information etc. but I am still grateful. Better than those who shun you. Those who think they are doing you a favour avoiding you cause “your feeling may be hurt.”
What I learnt from the experience is that in adversity, we know who are friends and who are just acquaintances.
Hi Veris Strang #8,
I think the coincidence can be attributed to the recent death of Singapore’s Father of Counselling Anthony Yeo. He died on 20 June 2009. I am sure Gilbert Goh and MSM editors must have followed the health status of Anthony Yeo since he was diagnosed with Burkitt’s Lymphom several weeks ago.
13) very hsien
Storms
By Margie DeMerell
There will be storms,
There will be storms
And with each tempest
You will seem to stand alone
Against cruel winds
But with time, the rage and fury
Shall subside
And when the sky clears
You will find yourself
Clinging to someone
You would have never known
But for storms.
let me share with you an unprofessional encounter with a fsc: I got this from a female fren.
her husband saw a counsellor at a family service centre first, unbeknownst to her. she attended later, both joint and private sessions with the same counsellor. she was asked to fill up a form as well as to provide intimate private details.
when her husband was committed of causing grievous domestic violence, he asked the counsellor to write a report for his mitigation. the fsc claimed that my fren had behaved abusively towards the husband. when she learnt about that, she wrote in to ask fsc for substantiation. other than telling her verbally over the phone that it was because of what the husband had told the counsellor, the fsc refused to provide any substantiation.
when my fren sent in demand letters, the fsc claimed that she was NOT a client so that was no breach of confidentiality. it then claimed that it had no idea if the report had been used out of context. finally it simply evaded her correspondence and refused to reply.
my fren stayed in PASIR RIS. guess which fsc she attended?
bottomline is: beware of the professionalism of the fsc. better have at least the first line of protection — keep a copy of all forms signed and make sure receipts are made out to your name.
Family service centres are run by so called “voluntary welfare organisations”. There are many VWOs and these organisations can be off-shoots of bigger charity organisations.
Counsellors come in many different competence levels. There is yet a statutory professional governing body unlike doctors and nurses. however there are two associations in singapore that publish code of ethics for its members.
Family service centres receive funding from the National Council of Social Services. I expect most to be profitable, hell, you pay $25 at least for a one-hour session….
Gilbert Goh’s article on the unemployed getting counselling is totally out of touch and a mockery to those who have lost their jobs.
People need jobs…not counselling Gilbert Goh.
Depression is an Self Anger! Don’t vent the anger on yourself!
You can angry at everythings except yourself! Either is God, Gov, Environments or PAP or Anything!
If can’t find place to blame or vent your anger come to Online Citizen or go Hong Lim Park and talk it louds!
Normally Singaporean got no guts! Isn’t it !
Gilbert is doing this in good faith and should be commended for spending his time and sharing his knowledge.What he had suggested may be applicable to some ,if not all,so we must learn to appreciate .
There are indeed many people that need help and do not know where to go.
i agree with some who really need helps but the way it goes in sg, my advice is to help yourself by way of doing anythings (within the laws) in your capacity just to survive first. and who knows? adversity may turns to opportunity.
best of luck!
In singapore , why people always demand money for treatment?
Some religious-org-funded clinics are the only kind ones I know that offer free treatment. These are non-Govmin.
Even poly clinics charge and charge and you have to queue and queue.
jobless->psychological illness / distress
Under such situations, treatment should be free as it will only Deter these broke people from seeking help.
We need REAL Help and not Help-Given-ONLY-if-you-can-pay-n-pay.
2 legs good, 3 legs lagi bagus.
Does it mean that HELP is not given if you cannot Afford it?
To get a ward bed in hospital, I heard some discouraging rumors.
Wonder if got no money to afford a bed, even in an A&E situation, can a poor bloke old uncle be given a bed and some gentle loving attention of the highly educated talent ?
Y/N ?
To my understanding, most FSCs do not charge. Even if some do charge a nominal fee, this does not apply to financial cases.
While most FSCs only recruit properly and professionally trained social workers (and perhaps counsellors in some cases), it is unfortunate that there might be a few centres that do not abide by such professional standards and hence one might end up in an unprofessional encounter. If one does in fact have such an encounter, one should request to speak to the head of the FSC or even the MCYS (Ministry of Community Development, Youth & Sports).
Having said that, there have been many cases of good work done by the professional social workers and counsellors in the FSCs. However, oftentimes due to the respect for client confidentiality, many of these stories have not been reported.
Professional social workers are required to go through at least 3 years of college training on social work and field placements in order to ensure that they are qualified. All social workers are bound by professional code of ethics, just like doctors do too. The Singapore Association of Social Workers has been actively pushing for the registration and certification of social workers, and perhaps, the profession might be moving toward licensing eventually. With that, it will help to create a more accountable system and people would then be better able to differentiate between the qualified and unqualified helpers.
Alot of churches also provdes counselling. There is nothing wrong or shameful about it. It is different from seeking out a psychiatrist.
Many endured the mental illness their already started to have and worked in stressful jobs and living environments but eventually they break down and some go mad.
I wonder was Kar Chuah a similar victim of life?
Many may look succesful but they actually are taking medicines that make them feel ‘better’ if u know what the …. i mean.
A few years ago I went to see Rainbow because I was depressed having just divorced from my wife.
Guessed what! They had me under a camera. And so what I say and how I behaved was being recorded.
Then what’s your problem. To cut a long story short they said they cannot help me.
I left and cursed myself for seeing these social workers trained by NUS.
Then I had problems in my head because of ill-treatment by the military security people and I went to the FSC in Yishun, nearest my HDB flat.
They told me they cannot do anything and I put two anfd two together and knew that they feared the military security people.
They said it is not within their purview.
That’s the end of the social workers.
So, I decide to self-medicate my mind.
To cut a long story short I have most sucessful.
Then I decided to see the real mental health people and I got a feference fro a polyclinic to see the shrinks at the Institute of Mental Health.
This time I had good results.
The doctor tried to find out about my social skills and got to talk about my ex-girlfriend in Sweden and I told her about my most romanctic love for her and its storminess in the cold far north near the Arctic circle.
She listened with such rapt attention and my words began to flow out of mouth like a cascade of water flowing off a waterfall.
Then she said a few words that really changed my life.
Everything in good old sing reminds you of the military and shy not go to another country.
So, I left sing and finally stayed in Indochina and have been here for six years.
when the root problem is being jobless, how far can counselling help? the depression is a symtom, can counselling solve the issue at its root?
the jobless can live without paying for counselling sessions when every cent counts.
if the power of positive thinking that powerful where got such think as economy no good? every year is a goody goody year liao.
sometimes when a person sneeze, it may not be the flu bug that cause it, but the air is dust/germ filled.
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an alternative to counselling in person is to head to the library to read up on related topics on managing stress, lost (no need to be job lose), grief, relaxation technics, & so on in the library’s self help section.
just in case some are wondering… yes, i have tried it & it works very well for me. sometimes 1 book is just not enough, pick up another to fill in the gaps. ;)
#2 where got extra money to save every month. every month my money go to paying all bills to the government.Some time must “oh tan” also.
#18 agree fully, everyday under pressure thinking of paying bills, go counseling also cannot help me to pay my bills. bills not paid, my family got to sleep in the void deck liao.
Government has to create more jobs for Singapore Citizens period.
28) mice is nice
///power of positive thinking ///
///yes, i have tried it & it works very well for me. sometimes 1 book is just not enough, pick up another ///
Yes being positive is a very important attributre to have in life.
Negative feelings only aggreviate a negative situation.
Books are wonderful self help tools.
A person have to be in the frame of mind to want to be helped before help arrives, may it be in the form of a counsellor, or a book.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
28) mice is nice on June 22nd, 2009 7.18 pm
{{when the root problem is being jobless, how far can counselling help? the depression is a symtom, can counselling solve the issue at its root? }}
Well said!
psychologist is to treat a problem after it has happened or is still a root problem.
It alleviates the problem for some but others.
Though treatment is not a bad idea, we must not forget that the root cause is still there – joblessness.
Anyone who has never been jobless will NEVER fully understand the problem.
Its like dancing, or watching old movies, or drinking alcohol – it temporarily makes you feel better and forget about the problems which will still remain.
Like, you keep hearing good stories without hearing the other unpleasant stories which are also the truth, and then you live in denial – the problem is still there.
hi KopitiamApek,
////A person have to be in the frame of mind to want to be helped before help arrives, may it be in the form of a counsellor, or a book.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.////
true, & that person can do with more options. more so in times of need 1 can do without hurtful people like i read in above posts.
personally, the power of positive thinking should come into the picture after a person has accepted to the true picture of the situation, act as a form of psychological resilience to help the sufferer bounce back up, not dig a hole in the sand to bury the head.
there are lessons to be learned throughout 1′s lifetime, “teachers” can take on very humble forms. like how people can be inspired by everyday happenings, the trick is to learn to be more aware. ;)
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hi Hum Bongo,
thanks for the compliment. :) & yes, i am jobless!! lol…
counselling is a healthier form of alleviating the pain & stress compared to alcoholism, gambling & smoking i guess? but that said, i am just wary that given the publicity for counselling currently, some may think it is the solution to the problem, which it certainly is not.
me seek counselling for a few dollars? i am spending my many jobless days on my low budget hobbies. works for me, i hope it works for others too!
Hi MC Harding #18,
The unemployed needs jobs, but they will still need emotional support to tide through the period of unemployment. Human are not unfeeling creatures.
If need to pay and pay some money for these help, how effective could it be?
Given it is psychological illness which is serious problem, people should seek professional psychologist help like those in hospitals. If little money can solve psychological problem, then is there prosperity future for hospital psychologists especially those private ones?
see my point?
eh,…
1) if can solve, if.
2) the root problem is not psychological, as this article is about joblessness, not psychological health in general.
3) seeking professional counselling is a is a form of psychological assurance, some need not everyone who is jobless needs this. soem are more resilient than others. ;)
33) mice is nice
/// so in times of need 1 can do without hurtful people like i read in above posts.////
an Old KungFu master was beaten up by some thugs, his deciple asked “did they hurt you?”
“No”, came the answer, “they can’t hurt me, they can only hurt my poor body.”
///, the power of positive thinking should come into the picture after a person has accepted to the true picture of the situation,///
that is a very important first step. you first must know where you are before you know where you are going.
/// act as a form of psychological resilience to help the sufferer bounce back up, not dig a hole in the sand to bury the head. ///
too many people spent too much time digging deeper in the hole they are in to get out, complaining is one way, blaming others is another.
there are thing we have no control nor change, things that we can contol and change right now, and things that takes time to change.
what we can control and change right now, we must take responsibility to do them. you will be surprise how many things we can control. and by changing what appears to be one small change, this small change will make something else that looks insurmountable at first become more managable and which now you can control and change and the positive cycle continues and you realise you actually have more control of your life in more ways than you believed possible.
///there are lessons to be learned throughout 1’s lifetime, “teachers” can take on very humble forms. like how people can be inspired by everyday happenings, the trick is to learn to be more aware. ////
true, even the most repulsive complaining ranters in TOC teaches me something, if nothing else, they constantly reminds me of the person I must not become.
life is a wonderful journey of discovery, or a never ending chore of frustration, it is what you choose it to be
hi KopitaimApek,
nice to know we’re on the same page. ;)
i hope all who are reading this article & the following posts.
1) see the situation in the true form
2a) seek help in any way if need be. in this case the need for psychological, social & emotional support.
2b) options to explore:
- seek professional help,
- hit the library & read up on self-help topics.
- indulge in hobbies, in your past
- or pick up a new hobby that promotes mental activity, eg problem solving.
the aim is to take your mind of depressing thoughts, not let the brain rust & keep your spirits up. ;)
3) knowing step 2 is just a means to an end, not the solution to the root of the problem, in this case joblessness.
4) network, blog, go online (no H1N1 online 8) ) forums & do not isolate yourself.
remember, a healthy mind enhances a healthy body. when the chance for an interview arises, head down for the interview. no interviewer will hire a sulky, broody person. in future, if you hear others telling you to “be/stay positive”, you know how to, even if they don’t!!
an article in the Straits Times (Home section, page 1) today wrote an article about fake degrees in psychology.