Thursday, July 2, 2009 12:50
Anthony Yeo, the lion content to be only a little mouse
In Main Stories, Top Story • 1,814 views • 19 Comments
Yeo Toon Joo remembers his brother, counsellor, Anthony Yeo
Some, strangers, turned up at his hospital bedside to weep. More might have come to mourn, had they not been kept out by our family’s concern over the risk of his picking up a fatal infection after chemotherapy. Others eulogized him in verse.
He had become a hero of sorts, in a society short of heroes.
Why was Anthony Yeo, 60, such a celebrity?
Slight in physical stature, he was a giant as a person. His views were often radical. He championed many causes. And he was bold in expressing them in a fearful public.
He succumbed on 20 June 2009 from Burkett’s Lymphoma, an aggressive form of leukaemia.
Anthony Yeo Toon Yong was a very recognizable public figure, distinguished by his greying goatee. A much sought after counsellor, he had helped many. The mass media often quoted him on Singapore’s social and political life.
He appeared often over TV, wrote an occasional newspaper column, encouraged others to speak out, and taught from all platforms, church and public. He is credited to have trained more than 1,000 counsellors.
One underlying message of his: live simply, do not be caught up with Singapore’s and Singaporeans’ frenetic urge to acquire more. It was one of the last sermons he delivered last March when, unknown to him, leukaemia had already begun to gnaw away at his life.
He said: ”You can experience the richness of life without the riches of life. You can experience abundant life without the abundance of life. You can experience health and well being without wealth.”
Of his own mortality, he had said: “If I do not see another day, at least I can leave this earth with open hands, knowing that I am not grabbing on to anything.”
Our eldest brother, Albert, recalls: “When Anthony secured a place to pursue post-grad work in the United States, our mother had said: ‘Good, then you can come back and earn more money.’ Anthony had replied: ‘No, I am going to learn so I can come back to help people’.”
Anthony worked to help those who were troubled or traumatized. He was clinical director of Counselling and Care Centre, which he had run for some years. Many, with troubled marriages, went to him. Some wanted to be counselled by only him.
Our father’s rubber business failed when we were young. An orphan, who emigrated from China when a teenager, he used to call Anthony ‘Little Mouse’; he was the smallest and youngest son. I teased him as ‘the last drop’. All those monikers affected him more than we had realized, making him seem something of an underdog and under-achiever.
But in adulthood he rose head and shoulders over many. People began to introduce me as “Anthony’s brother”.
He was in a way brilliant academically: he went from a Chinese school to an English medium ‘Primary II Special’ class for overage students. Midterm, I enrolled him in a normal Primary II class at Griffiths Primary School. He floundered. Anthony could not understand English – and notched zeroes in some subjects, causing the school principal to write in his report card: “You are not fit to be in this class!”
That was probably Anthony’s first serious encounter with withering reprobation from an insensitive adult. That might have helped him to empathise later with those regarded as under-achievers.
The following term, his marks soared, scoring above 80% in some subjects.
In secondary school he managed only a Grade 3 pass in the Senior Cambridge School Certificate examination (equivalent of O level). My mother, and I, blamed it on his preoccupation with church work instead of revision for the examination.
But he subsequently did well enough to be admitted to the then University of Singapore. He began thereafter to blossom, going on to postgraduate work in the United States where, to subsidise his studies, he shoveled snow and washed windows.
Later, despite his heavy schedule, he managed to write around 10 books, principally on counseling.
One lesson I learnt from him, which helped me in bringing up my two daughters, was to – listen. Listening was one of his great assets.
Children, I learnt from his book, often cry, act up and appear to misbehave. They, he wrote, were not being peevish, but have a problem or grievance that they cannot communicate.
Instead of punishing them, as parents tend to (some are known to have even killed their cranky little ones), you should hug your child, wait and, when he has calmed down, gently ask what’s troubling him.
I followed his advice with one of my daughters. It worked! And I was able to hear from her why she was protesting so disagreeably.
That resulted in many long years of closeness between me and my two daughters, who, even as adults, continued to sit on my lap in public.
That perhaps summarized his approach to counseling: listen and empathise.
There are many troubled people, young and mature, who cannot express their need. Anthony embraced them and their troubles reassuringly, calmed them tenderly, gave them solace – and helped them along the path to peace.
My Little Mouse has found everlasting peace, grasping nothing as he left. He is, I am confident, enjoying eternal rest in the arms of the God he had obeyed faithfully in a life of serving. He left this earth, maybe too soon, “with open hands, knowing that I am not grabbing on to anything”.
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19 Comments
Abihsot
Gilbert Goh
I have read one of his counselling book “Counselling Techniques” when i was taking a course on counselling and was impressed with his experience and knowledge.
Such books are normally written by Americans or Aussies. He must be one of the rare few that wrote books on such topic.
Though I have not met him I have read some of his articles on papers and even TOC. He strucked me as radical and fiery. He sticked to his guns and never waver unlike some of us. He never want to be a follower but a leader.
Some of my friends who studied at his college on counselling told me that they have learnt much from this gentle giant.
I guess what we can learn from Anthony is to have a big heart and always follow after your dream. When you give to others you naturally find yourself.
RIP
This is not the impression once gets from ST about Anthony; but then again, whenever ST sings praises about Judges, MPs, grassroots leaders etc who passed away, I take it with a pail of salt.
RIP, Anthony.
Money not important
Anthony was also not very concerned about his salary as a counsellor after many years. He was dedicated and loved his profession very much, something very rare in today’s professionals, who are very much motivated by money than the love of the job.
And of course in Singapore politics, money (salary) rank very high in getting people in, whether they love the job or not. Have you heard of reluctant politicians?
prettyplace
Touching….thanks for sharing with us.
sloo
A man much admired and one who truly inspires. And though there may be many others who scorn his good name, Anthony has only been nothing but a generous, understanding and loving gentle giant. May we learn from his life.
Rest in peace Anthony.
Clear eyed
Thanks for sharing this with us. Anthony is an example to us on how to live and die well. His generosity, love and wisdom have made a difference to this world.
Rest in peace, Anthony.
Overseas Uncle
#4) Money not important on July 2nd, 2009 7.13 pm
Anthony was also not very concerned about his salary as a counsellor after many years. He was dedicated and loved his profession very much, something very rare in today’s professionals, who are very much motivated by money than the love of the job
As you can see this Anothon LEE is not like the Other Lee. Money is not important indeed. Love of the people and job is his key.
RIP Anthony.
truth hurts
Anthony Yeo should have been the mentor to those in the ruling party, and not some way past sell by date egocentric.
No wonder I don’t see us being a nation, not with the wrong type of personality mentoring the PM and his stooges. That also explains why so many stooges.
R.I.P. Anthony Yeo, you have given your best unselfishly.
truth hurts
Anthony Yeo should have been the mentor to the ruling party, and not some way past sell by date egocentric…………………. Things would have been different.
No wonder I don’t see us being a nation, not with the wrong type of personality mentoring the PM and his stooges…….. The reason also for so many stooges.
Anthony Yeo gave his best unselfishly. R.I.P.
Let’s hope that the 1,000 counsellors trained by Anthony will go forth and blossom into 1,000 similar souls. May then a thousand flowers bloom, so that Anthony’s wisdom and fortitude will live on.
Anthony Yeo loved the Lord, served His people and lived like a legend! Now, he leaves behind a true legacy.
Angelina
I only know of Anthony from this TOC site and I must say I am very pleasantly surprised that there is such a Singaporean. I know there are good and kind people in Singapore but Anthony had taken many steps beyond, a reflection of his passion and courage to pursue a passion many would shun in a mercilessly materialistic society. Truly exceptional!
We may well have more “Anthonys” in Spore, unfortunately we do not hear about their work in MSM, or if we do, without any distortion, because they do not seem to be the flavour of the SG Govt. I say this because the SG Govt despises hand-outs (yet hand-outs are given in the name of Bonuses to those in charge for growing the GDP). MERITOCRACY (in name only) is the ‘in’ thing as it concerns GDP growth, leaving no room for compassion, graciousness, creativity, original thinking, daring to be different, pursuing your passion, humanity,…..
Anthony, may the Lord continue to bless your soul and all your family members.
Rurehe
Anthony you should counsel the SAF officers.
I was at SCSC, where the cream officers learn about brigade staff work.
I found out that they have so many personal problems.
Many of them have problems with their wives.
Many are hen pecked.
Unbelievable! But, true.
If they solve their personal problems they will be able to fight better.
do not be caught up « this is premium writing, no?
[...] not be caught up Posted in Personal by isaiahlim on July 4, 2009 Yeo Toon Joo remembers his brother [...]
Carry Boss
why do we expect on MSM ?
The Straits Times is nothing more than a mouth piece
It praises pap ploticians but not bthe real heros and the unselfish social leaders of the people
Anthony Yeo touched many hearts and saved many families…
jy
Hi Anthony,
Thank you for being a Singaporean…
Your respectful reader
humph
“That resulted in many long years of closeness between me and my two daughters, who, even as adults, continued to sit on my lap in public.”
Erm. Erm?
On Behalf of All School Counsellors
Thank you!
Anthony deserves every word that you have written about him.
No doubt he left too soon, but let’s hope and pray that his legacy will
not be wasted on those materialistic people in Singapore.
May his soul rest in peace.