The following one is from Malaysia, also about filial piety.
Letter to the Straits Times forum page
23 June 2010
Does ad convey right values?
THE new TV advertisement to promote filial piety – spearheaded by the National Family Council and supported by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports – has left me disturbed.
While some people may find it touching, the message of filial piety seems distorted to the point of emphasising the wrong values.
The ad begins with a grandmother moving in with her son’s family after her husband’s passing. As she may have been grieving the loss of her husband, she becomes intolerable and picks on her daughter-in-law. She shows no effort to be reasonable even when her son makes attempts to pacify her. She throws tantrums, is ungrateful and threatens to move out.
When she becomes ill and is hospitalised, her grandson asks his father why he is feeling sad despite his grandmother treating the family badly. It is not revealed whether the father gave his son a proper reply; instead, a flashback shows how his mother had taken care of him when he was ill as a child.
By his actions, the father seems to be teaching his son that it is perfectly fine to disregard his wife’s feelings in favour of his mother. It also seems to suggest that it is acceptable for the elderly to create disharmony at home.
Then came the slogan, ‘How one generation loves, the next generation learns’. In this instance, the boy seems to be learning a lot of wrong values.
Shouldn’t the authorities have thought of a happier way to teach and instil filial piety – perhaps featuring a happy and well-adjusted family visiting the grandparents, and the parents explaining to their children why it is important to spend more time with the elderly to create precious memories for all?
Or, they could have altered the ad to show the father comforting his wife and acknowledging her feelings in a delicate situation – thereby setting a good example for his son.
Using an overly domineering grand- parent in an ad to promote filial piety does not send out the intended message. After all, is it not true that one has to show respect to earn respect?
Hannah Chee (Ms
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I’m born in the 60s’ whereby we got “hao gong min 好公民” during the Pri sch. From what i know, now they don’t. That’s why the young generation is very much more self-centre. Can we totally blame them? Now, the MIWs want to change this.
I can foresee very soon, many elite schools will force the the parents to buy iPad for their children, unless they want their kids to be left behind.
The message of the Ads is clear and obvious – you die die must feed and take care your parents and don’t throw the burden to the PAP Govt, becos the MIWs need to focus on FTs for political reason.
Wang
many elite schools will force the the parents to buy iPad for their children, unless they want their kids to be left behind.
………………
bout 8 years ago.. 1 elite chinese girl school did that..all primary 1 kids must used the older handheld pdas as school timetable which in turn will be tranfer onto a computer system..durin that era..not many parents could afford a pda or a computer let alone the primary 1 kid to use 1 which she don’t even know how to spell p d a
OMG!!…there’s so many ungrateful Singaporean… How could you be talking about the wifechile..blah blah… The ad is about filial piety.. the wife knows what is filial piety even though it’s her mother in law, she took care of her… many so called wife nowadays has no sense of filial piety,blah blah blah..one day..You’ll be ditch.. people who kept saying how the grandma should be grateful.. you as the child, when you’re parents took care of you, when you’re being unreasonable, did they complain? Bunch of lousy ungrateful ppl.. do that to your parents, your children will do the same.. they learn from you!!
What is NOT presented in the video:
The precedence of National Family Council pressured the old woman into having only 2 kids under Stop-at-2 policy 40 years ago. Now, in her old age, she has much lesser family support than could have been the case under natural law. So chances of conflict within the family nucleus is very high, especially with the high cost of living here (looks like they couldn’t afford a maid to look after the old woman). What one generation does, the next generation learns. So, I bet the Son (seemingly the only child) will grow up, have no kid, and gets blame for the low TFR of Singapore. Now, isn’t this a more plausible story of Singapore?
Seriously, many are reading too much into the ad. The obvious fact is about filial piety but many chose to interpret it differently and that it had an unlying meaning.
Something is seriously wrong with us. Can’t we just see the simple message that the advert was trying to say, without reading too much and believing that there is a motive behind every move? It is a very well done clip. Kudos MCYS.
If only that the late talented Miss Yasmin Ahmad still around,she will fine tune further this ad without any dispute just like the Funeral ad.
By the way if those folks sent to old folks home and die there,their body’s which doesn’t claim by NOK will go for clinical research and study by future doctor’s of NUS @ NUH.
Grandmother=Pigs
Father=Peasants
Mother=Ungrateful Peasants
Son=New Peasants
This filial piety thing is a politics of distraction. This is explained here in this election rally by James Gomez:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=batjk61tjOY
Here is a partial list of problems of things that have happened in the last 4-5 years that have grown to be major issues:
- immigration (Jobs going to foreigners, more than half of some casino jobs going to foreigners, NS for Singaporeans, housing effect …)
- housing (expensive housing, dorms for foreigners, rules favouring PRs …)
- Loss of life savings in toxic financial products
- Loss in sovereign wealth funds (Temasek and GIC)
- the security of the MRT system
- flooding
- The case where ST reported that an SAF regular was injured, but ignored the injury to the NSF
- The report on human trafficking
- High salaries of ministers
- CPF withdrawals
- High GST and levies…
- Poor quality of debate in parliament, and the ineffectiveness of these debates to result in change, since 66% of parliament is PAP
- Cooling day
- More NCMPs in parliament
- Lim Hock Siew’s speech on ISA
- casino, and recent murders, and crime rates
- Town council rankings (LKY and LHL’s TC’s were the best! The gods weren’t too happy about that, and hence the flooding)
- Human transplant (There was this case of a convicted murderer who was hanged, and his organs immediately harvested for transplant)
- Various gaffes (daft, spurs in hinds, elite girl, fix opposition, do not want to be platoon commander, deaf frog, old and lazy workers…)
As long as the topic is anything but these, you have been successfully distracted.
As a further example of the politics of distraction, there was a recent election in the US where one election candidate made some remark about chickens, and this chicken reference was played up to distract voters from the other candidate’s unpopularity.
It would be good if an online avenue educates the public on what this filial piety thing is: It is just meant to distract the public from its (the PAP’s) recent failures.
singaporeans are a (largely) blind lot… and that’s putting it mildly. we go by your way of “happier way to teach and instil filial piety”, and nothing will happen. singaporeans need something dramatic, like people dying or maimed bodies to have a message driven home.
Not many governments in this world is willing to commit precious resources to impart the important Chinese value of filial piety. As Singapore’s population is aging fast, it is a timely reminder to the young generation of their duty to look after their parents. Singaporeans who hope that their children will look after them when they grow old should know which government has their retirement needs at heart. You don’t hear Low Thia Khiang or James Gomez talking about filial piety, do you?
Er, My Views, there really are more important things to talk about. Besides, why is Singapore “willing to commit precious resources to impart the important Chinese value of filial piety”? And whose *resources* are they committing anyway?
#My Views,
Do you know why the Argentine junta invaded the Falklands, a god-forsaken island of seagulls, in 1982? Spent millions and risked lifes. For national pride? Read J’s “politics of distraction”.
Likewise, why this sudden message on filial piety when there are much bigger issues for the gov to address? Sure, moral education is good. So, why not a video on say accountability – starring terrorist MSK limping away from our high security prison and authorities scratching their heads for about 2-week deciding what to do. Or the possible ills of gambling – losing billions on foreign banks with a throw of the dice? Yes, pls educate us. After all, aren’t we spending $10 million of precious resources integrating precious foreigners? How many retirement home(s) can $10 million build for SINGAPOREANS? How much is spent on integrating non-precious NSF’s back into civilian life after 2.5 years (for some, half the time on C-rations)? NSF shot in the face while on duty in Thailand also initially not reported – yes pls educate us on what is moral responsibility.
Come to the ground. Or are U skiving on the eastboard of the Atlantic?
//Singaporeans who hope that their children will look after them when they grow old should know which government has their retirement needs at heart.//
retirement needs at heart ? free one huh ? i must be crying boy !!!
that is y do not depend on any children by not giving or having too many children (hence no or lesser maintenance) so can save up more for retirement, ring a bell ? approach of being in a very developed & educated society ?
high cost structure on the one hand and a sizable part (20% cpf ?) of your income being tied up where there may be an immediate need for it on another, let alone retirement time.
@lobo76, I don’t think there’s a one size fits all approach to advertising, so an ad doesn’t have to be idealistic.
I suspect that if this ad had been more idealistic to start with, we’d just be seeing people criticising it for not being ‘real’.
It is so ironic that the pap preaches about filial piety so obscenely when the ones doing our dirty work (sweeping floors, clearing plates, washing toilet) are the elderly themselves.
This is what you get from a government that wants to evade all costs of taking care of the older generation.
This tvc is VERY well executed. If like what everyone thinks we should probably have some grandkids brought by their parents going visiting,singapore will never have great ads.
This clearly shows how tolerant the daughter-in-law is which is what the kid should learn too in real life. Unfortunately, to the many family out there, it’s not all living in good life and having a your grandkids visiting you every week. Face it.
My Views
You don’t hear Low Thia Khiang or James Gomez talking about filial piety, do you?
…………………
do you hear of leekuanyew showin an example of piety felial himself? he himself throw out his father shop in middle road just to built highrise office
and if leekuanyew is so great in makin piety filial..would he reanact the maintaince of parents bills acts?
lalala 24 June 2010
OMG!!…there’s so many ungrateful Singaporean…
….
so which part of malaysia are you from?
when was the last time you hold your mother’s hands or even hugg her?
I like the Malaysian ad better than ours
Malaysia Boleh!! Perhaps we should MERDEKA again….
If a man can quickly object to a proposed increased of only a few Hundred dollars extra of aid and stressed ” How much do you want – isn’t 3 meals enuff” and next he says we hve small brains —all these coming fmn the Man in charge of MCYS — and he wants to promote “Filia Piety” awareness ???? OMG !!! Lead by example plase !
I am a bit confused. Is the ad suggesting that the mother can choose to behave as she chooses, at her whim & fancies, with total disregard to others & her family members are supposed to tolerate such behaviors?
The justification being that she took care of her son when he was young? But isn’t this the duty of every parent?
Nothwithstanding that her son was too young to understand his behavior while she today, is fully capable of knowing her actions & consequences? While still insisting on such behaviors?
And the son in obliging her behavior, isn’t he culpable of encouraging her actions?
I just don’t get it & i find it more disturbing than anything else.
have anyone realize that god have come down to this very earth?? in year 1958 till 2010 before he left us. those who hold his hand will kneel down with tears.
he was here trying to make peace and make us human understand what this world is about and what we should do and what we should not do but sad that many of us out there never realize and saw him.
The ad is suggesting this : that parenthood is an added heavy burden.
Having to take care of the aged parents and at the same time holding a full time job or no job,fighting for jobs with foreigners, support household, support kid(s),payand pay bills,this is just too much for the average singaporean. Thus,we really do not want our kids to suffer like us, so better not have kids to break this Vicious Cycle.Better just be an Individual.
Thank you MCYS for this message.
Say no to our state media/propaganda/part of election renovation!
i feel so that NFC’s aim is not apparent in this ad which contains too much disord within the family.
by comparison, i prefer a chinese ad which promotes love and filial piety as well.
the theme that children learn from their parents is more abvious and well-delivered.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8u9PyOY8EzQ
The omission of the fact in ‘Filial Piety: Father and Son’ [video] that Granny is ‘demented’ remains the severe flaw of this video, resulting in the audience being misled, or worse- forced into accepting the wrong values. ‘Filial Piety: Father and Son’ is thus a seriously flawed production and ought to be either immediately rectified or withdrawn.
Ref:
- “Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia and is NOT part of normal aging.”~ Video ‘Going Home’ [video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj-YMiY4RAA ] (Singapore Polytechnic)- Award: First Prize; Produced by Kirill Tee, Directed by Vinn Bay
- [ST5July2010]: Educate people about filial piety, don’t demand it [link: http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/OnlineStory/STIStory_549592.html ]
- [ST23Jun2010]: Does ad convey right values? [link: v ]
The video on Filial Piety maybe too abstruse for youngster to understand what they are trying to bring out the main purpose of Filial Piety.
Think only those who really understand Filial Piety is than can produce a better view film for all generation gap to understand.
With all sincerity, when i see the Malaysia ad…I cannot help but feel very touched. I even shed a few tears. It is really touching and shows the value of filial piety. The Singapore one is a little complicated and irritating. Very drama for obvious reasons. It shows the tension that one may get within the family due to rising cost where one cannot afford to take care of the elderly. So, how did the elderly become demanding and yet not able to save enough to be independent…and have to be dependent on the next generation.
Filial Piety: Father and Son (Eng subtitles)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybxNkpS5q-g&#t=2m26s
“How one generation’s imperfections are sown in the next.”
Hi Silentz, it is quite a common thing which I see on elderly become demanding and not save enough to be independent.
A couple of things, usually, they hardly have savings as they tend to be uneducated and hence have to depend on next generation. This TVC did add a good drama to real life but there is a lot of truth to this tvc. My mum looked after my late grandpa who started off treating her badly but she dealt with it. We saw her looking after him with fuller dedication than his own daughters (my aunts). Now, seeing this make us realise that we will never forsake our mum no matter what. Maybe that’s why I see 100% truth in this tvc as i can relate to it totally.
I am shocked to read this article . The author feels that the ad is sending wrong signals and teaching wrong values to the kids.
I think that yes, the ad does instill wrong values bu those of the other kind.
In the ad , the daughter-in-law has been potrayed as a victim and the mother-in-law as the perpetrator.
GIVE ME A BREAK ! JUST BECAUSE THE MOTHER-IN-LAW REFUSES TO EAT THE FISH CONGEE AND CALLS IT BAD AND SAYS THAT ONE SLIGHTLY HARSH SENTENCE TO THE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW makes the mother bad ?? A helpless anguished woman who recently moved in with her son ( she should have spent her entire life living with her son but she only recently moves in) that too after losing her husband doesn’t even have a right to yell at her family.
I think it was the mother who was suffering and the daughter-in-law was quite nasty because she threw the entire fish congee into the dustbin and thus humiliated the poor mother.
How can a DIl throw the dish in the dustbin even her MIL had rejected it in front of MIL’s eyes , only the MIL had the right to do that. It doesn’t matter if the fish congee was cooked by the man’s wife.
Also , if the fish congy was good enought to be eaten , a good DIL should have behaved with dignity and said “sorry mother , what would you like to eat” . Instead , it was her husband who asks .
She(DIL) needs to be tamed because it is always the duty of the children ( even if they are adults )
to respect their parents and you can’t indulge in such irrational behaviour.
How can one condone such disgusting behaviour by the daughter-in-law and say that the DIL is right.
Have some mercy on the poor MIL ; she was just staying with her sone for one year.
I would like to know how the women reading this forum will react if they knew that the son and his wife were staying with the mother ( or MIL ) ever since they got married. ( joint families have been a part of Chinese culture and the DIL is supposed to live with her husband’s family ); in that casem intense sympathy would have been on DIL’s side ( isn’t it ? ).
Parents keep their children with their lives and when the children throw tantrums , yell at them , say that they don’t want to eat this food because it isn’t their favourite dish , then do the parents throw the kids out of their house ?
BUT WHY IS IT THAT THOSE KIDS ONCE THEY GROW UP DISREGARD THEIR OWN PARENTS.
IT’S A QUESTION THAT ALL SONS HAVE TO ANSWER :WHEN THEIR PARENTS SAY THAT THEY DON’T LIKE THIS FOOD OR MAYBE SOMETHING ELSE , WHY DO THESE SONS TURN COY AND SCARED OF THEIR WIVES AND INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO THEIR PARENTS , THEY SUPPORT THEIR WIVES WHILE THEY DISRESPECT THEIR OWN PARENTS.
It seems that the author feels that men should forget to all the sacrifices made bt their parents as soon as they get married and routinely disrespect their own parents before their wives much to the pleasure of their wicked wives.
And , I don’t think that the man disregarded his wife before his mother otherwise he would yelled at his wife.
I think his wife and his son were being unreasonable ( I don’t the blame the grandson here because may be wrong values were instilled in him by his mother as grewup away from his grandparents)
Have people lost patience in today’s day and age that they can’t even listen to one harsh word from their parents once they grow up.
Also , the ad starts with the DIL saying to her husband that you can stay with mom and I will manage the issue ; but you stay ; well what’s the big deal , it’s obvious that the husband is going to stay at his mother’s side because all her so called important issues can wait for his mother’s life , so that is basic love and decency.
Now the author HANNAH CHEE will feel that even this is a great sacrifice the DIL is making ; if the author feels so then I can’t help laughing at her concept of love and filial piety ( sounds alien to me)
Why are many women ( a great majority I would say ) hellbent on stealing their husbands from their mothers ; the women should know that they should be a part/an extension of the husband’s existing family and they shouldn’t try to start a separate family with their husband.
I approached this ad on filial piety with great expectations but I was quite diappointed because the DIL didn’t do anything special for her mother-in-law . I expected to see some really loving and obedient son & daughter-in-law but that just wasn’t the case. I think son was good though he seemed to be a bit scared of his wife.
And how can stone hearted grandson ask such a rude question : why are you so said ; obviously his father will be sad for his mother who is under intensive care and by the way his mother wasn’t misbehaving with his parents.
When kids throw tantrums ,do the parents stop feeling sad for them ;then why should adults stop feeling emotions for their parents just because their parents behave a bit harshly with them at times ??
My sympathies are with the MIL who I felt was tortured and not the other way around.
The author is apreading wrong values through this article and in a way saying that one should have low tolerance levels in his/her realtionships with parents.Also ,the author feels that it is fine for the MIL to be disrespected by her own son in front of her DIL but it is not fine for a wife to suffer a little (yes, a very low level in this ad) discomfort at the hands of her MIL ( who herself is diseased and has lost her husband in the ad)
The author’s views are shocking.
I really have to disagree with the poster. This ad does not convey any immoral values at all. It is simply imparting to us the importance of filial piety, which most of our community seem to be lacking in today.
Alright, so what if the mother in-law was throwing tantrums and disrespecting the family? This ad is showing us the importance of respecting them and showing our love and care DESPITE their ill doings.
Of course some of the elder citizens may turn senile and become impatient as time passes by. So what? You’re just going to dump them on the streets?
This ad is showing us what we really should do; be patient. As we can see, the son loves his mother very much, especially remembering all the times HIS own mother has taken care of him and loved him all this while.
Seriously, if you can’t see the importance of filial piety, I suggest you take a step back and look what your own parents have done for you, and how YOU have treated them.
It is more 'grey' for me on filial piety in the singapore society. Is filial piety is the top of the list of the value of singaporeans?
My husband just left me and my 8 month old daughter for the reason of he wants to be filial to his parents especially his mother. That has been feeding him until now that he is 34 years old, and many years to come. I can not get along with my mother in law more because of her character and her values in life, and she cross the line over my decision as a wife or a mother.
My husband doesnt have a steady job, and with new baby in the family the living cost increase. My MIL will call him and offered him to transfer money to him. And not allowing my husband to work or he also being lazy. It creates a great tense in our family. As a daughter in law, they want me to never stop working, give money to him to pay his debt and to give my daughter to be taken care by her, and no my husband never give monthly allowance. I have to be obedience to her and do whatever she wants. If not she will create a fire to my husbands ears then me and my husband will have a very long arguments, thats our everyday life. It will happens over and over again.
I feed myself and my baby, and i have to become a cow and taken all my values. As a female and human i want to be treated like one.I have no problem with my father in law or my sis n brother in laws.
Now he left me and my baby for his filial piety to his mother. And left his responsibility as a husband and a father. without any allowance? Its been 3 months and im struggling as a single mother.
My question is ,the value of filial piety here in Singapore is sooo important that can make someone to be irrresponsible to his own wife and daughter?