by Ghui/
As one gets older, it is common for one to reflect more and to assess how he or she has lived his or her life. It is therefore no surprise that Ms Lee Wei Ling has written a post entitled “Living a life with no regrets”.
In this post, she gives little anecdotes on her life and on her father, Mr Lee Kuan Yew. In many ways, her post was a filial tribute to the contributions of her father. Filial piety must always be respected but her article did raise two issues for me.
The first issue was her comments on marriage. She states :
“About 20 years ago, when I was still of marriageable age, my father, Lee Kuan Yew had a serious conversation with me one day. He told me that he and my mother would benefit if I remained single and took care of them in their old age. But I would be lonely if I remained unmarried.”
Does the concept of “marriageable age” still hold relevance today? Of course, I am not pretending that biological clocks for procreation do not exist but surely that is a separate issue to marriage? Marriage is a celebration of love and commitment between two consenting adults. There are many couples who may, for various reasons, not have offspring. In that regard, marriage can occur at any age. Ms Lee’s remark of “marriageable age” therefore connotes some rather inaccurate assumptions. It typecasts the role of women in marriage and suggests that older women should not or cannot get married.
This type of generalisation is not only outdated but damaging to Singapore’s development as a modern society. In Singapore, it is economic reality that women enter the workforce. As women pursue their careers, women have more choices as to how they would like to live their lives. Armed with the ability to choose, women have every right to decide not to get married by a certain age and start a family.
It is a contradiction that while Ms Lee has exercised her choice not to get married, she still retains that antiquated ideal of “marriageable age”.
There is also that sweeping assertion that unmarried women would be lonely. I know many single women who lead highly fulfilling lives. They have successful careers, good friends and make meaningful contributions to society. It would be a travesty to assume that they are somewhat lacking in quality of life just because they are not married.
The second issue is her contention that no one can ever fill her father’s role for Singapore. I respect Mr Lee and appreciate all that he has done for Singapore. However, I do not believe that no one can fill his role. I say this with no disrespect to Mr Lee. I simply do not believe in the concept of “irreplaceable” in the political arena.
In a private capacity, I have no doubt that Mr Lee will be irreplaceable to his family and friends. He is by all accounts a witty man with a razor sharp intellect. Such attributes in personal relationships such as friendships or family relationships would indeed be hard to replicate.
But Singapore can and must go on without Mr Lee. No man can live forever but the state can theoretically go on in perpetuity. The belief that a particular leader is indispensable is therefore damaging to the longevity of a country. For the continued development of Singapore, Singaporeans need to have confidence in their own abilities. There cannot be an over reliance on any particular individual.
In addition, Singapore is a democratic republic which means that the governing of Singapore is not dependant upon any one person!
I believe that Singapore has many able and talented individuals who can continue to lead Singapore and it is with that fervent belief in my country and its citizens, that I disagree with Ms Lee’s contention.
I personally believe that Mr LKY cannot be replaced in the sense that he and his contributions are unique. The same will also apply to his successors. I hope they each contribute in their own way rather than just as an extension of the first man.
Somehow Philip, I don’t think LWL meant it your way. If you click on her article, it reeks of martyrdom and propaganda which is really irritating and tiresome. Yes we know he did a lot. Stop repeating it like a broken record. It defeats the purpose.
The first issue is a little but not all that antiquated. It still holds true for some but may not for others.
Most of us (men and women) will reach the age where we cannot live fulfilling lives. At that age, those who do not have families will certainly be lonely. We cannot take good health for granted.
Secondly, I think LKY is irreplaceable.
A man who would turn his back on a life of comfort and luxury, lay down his life so his fellow countrymen wouldn’t live as second class residents, come to power and not help himself to the country’s coffers and remain that way till his twilight years is a man much larger than others. Such people are in extremely short supply in any given space and time.
We can find talented and clever people. But imagine LKY running a state in the 60s, 70s and 80s. All around him he sees policitians plunder national coffers for personal gain, live it up and get away with it. And he didn’t. There are very few people who would resist temptation like this.
It was Singapore’s good fortune and fate that LKY was there for us at that particular point in time. I don’t agree with everything he did, but I have tremendous respect for him and would wish him good health and happiness.
There is no fixed age for women to get married. It can be anything from 17 to 70. The important factor should be happiness. Socrates once said that whether a person is married or not married, he/she will regret it one day.
Greater leaders than LKY have come and gone. They do not bring their countries to the graves with them upon their death. People may mourn the passing of great men but lives go on. Death is ineluctable.
no one is indispensible except Him.
I respect LKY for his contriibutions in making SG from third world to first world country but what I can’t comprehend is why after more than 50 years in office – he still refuse to let go his hold in politics ! He’s still hold on as MP for Tg Pagar and actively participated in forums. Shouldnt he retire in the background & let the
younger generation take over ? State media still
give much prominent to his speeches- I have
notice some of his thoughts are obsolete & do not keep up to the changing political landscape .
he is irreplaceable bcos despite what his detractors may say..he was the right man at the right time. Hindsight is 20/20 and we are hopefully wiser bcos of it…
No human being is in reality indispensable. Perhaps when sentimentality takes hold, yes. But the concept of irreplaceability has no place in politics.
Some singletons might be lonely, some might not. It is not fair to assume that they would be lonely. To each his own.
Someone above said that we would need family some day. I agree but why assume that family equals husband? Surely, that is quite a narrow way to look at family? How about sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews or friends as close as family?
“he is irreplaceable bcos despite what his detractors may say..he was the right man at the right time. Hindsight is 20/20 and we are hopefully wiser bcos of it…”
————————————–
Who knows? Who can say for sure? He did a great job. But I can’t say he did the best possible job because I simply do not know. and whose to say someone else can’t do an even better job in future?
Let’s respect the man of course but at the same time, he is just a human being and no human being is irreplaceable.
History is written by the victors.
Can we say that his contenders in the 70s would have failed Singapore? Whose to say? It could have been better it could have been worse. Point is, we don’t know and on that basis, it is impossible to say that no one can replace him.
Daughters have a special relationship with their dads, and it is normal for one to gush “Daddy this” and “Daddy that”. In fact it takes courage to open her heart in public.
As for LKY, history will be the best judge. For us who live in his time we’ll have true-life stories to tell our grand children.
aiya, daughter say father is irreplacement nothing wrong with that. LKY is her father, not my father, not your father.
if people say that her father is replaceable, they are wrong. she is just saying she cannot accept anyone else as her father loh. dun read too much into it.
nothing wrong if daughters worship their fathers, studies have shown most daughters pick males who are most like their fathers, hence father figure.
MSM print her article quite regularly also nothing wrong, that’s why people say mouthpiece. that is largely correct.
if sister say bother is capable, also nothing wrong in speaking up for family member. blood is thicker than water.
but wait,…
did LKY recently as in the past 5 years offer any detailed & concrete solution to the many problems faced in the last 5 years?
i am done hoping for others to “up-turn, my downturn”!
i also dun wish to live a life of regrets, so i just speak my mind whenever i choose. i have been speaking my mind here in TOC for many months & i seldom regret ( though i have sometimes missed the chance to correct some misunderstandings) what i post.
:)
globalised (greedified) people experience more marital problems.
this is so as GREED N LUST on two sides of the same coin.
the insatiation of money n sex are closely interconnected,thus,high divrce rate of modern gredy society.
LKY was irreplaceable. I mean the LKY of the 50s through to the 80s. His combination of ability, talent and stamina Is unprecedented in Singapore. He did make immense mistakes. With his kind of grit and determination , when he is off in the wrong direction the damage is greater compared to a milder person. However , all great men made mistakes. LKY knows how to change course when he needs to. He has the immense respect of leaders around the world because they fully understand what it takes to do what he did. You and I don’t come close to grasping that. No small feat for someone from a little red dot. However, this new world is a different game. The MIW is all at sea at the moment because of his tenacious hold on party ideology and they dont have much to replace it. There will be no new LKY. How do you feel about that ?
Longevity in arrogance and tyranny only makes a person more sinful and most despicable, here and hereafter. Modern day pharaohs who think they are second to none are simply ignoring Someone who is above all; Someone who is independent of time and space; The Omnipotent,
The King of The Universe.
Well, we have been told of the great things he has done repeatedly by himself, his children, his cronies, his bootlickers and all. What I would want to know is the things which he did that are not made known. Like how he was able to get employed by the Japanese?. Why was he never around during the riots? Why were the church workers arrested? How he abused the legal system etc, before I make a judgement of his greatness.
BTW, Was she not attached to a Sri Lankan doctor, who papa did not approve. I recall seeing a tall dark indian in one of the old family gathering pictures years ago. I could be wrong
Tan Choon Hong and Mice is Nice. It is true that daughters may love and worship their fathers. Hence the author says that he is irreplaceable to his family members but on a political level, I don’t think her statement rings through. One can say dun read too much into it but then, if the MSM keeps publishing these things, I have no choice but to read it and think about it right? And although she probably means well, the more I read, the more irritated I get as it seems like propaganda to me.
Whats the point of having an irreplaceable ruler when the subjects are economically displaced in their own birthplace.
Sure hope LKY is “irreplaceable”. One of him is more than enough. Have we not had enough of ISA, bankrupting of political opponents, threats and warnings etc etc?
Why need a piece of cr… to hold each other artificially?
It shows the system and concept of marriage needs external force to bound it together.
In short, this system is unsustainable.
I propose to Educate people about repercussions of sex, especially to the love-blind woman. By this i no mean all women.
Likewise to men.
Many in sg and around the world has realised marriage is not suitable for them. Westerners have adopted partnership for decades.
Millions cannot be totally wrong?
In sg due to the aware movement etc, women are extremely protected. Many guys hold on unwillingly but for sake of not giving half the house etc they die die be bound by marriage.
See, it all works only by force if both cannot maintain a mutually satisfying relationship.
Why is sg divorce rate so high and higher each day?
If old man not replaceable it could mean his party will end with his end.
If he is replaceable, who is that?
So, i forecast extraordinarily the demise is inevit
No age limit on marriage,I hope to see Dr Lee getting married.
Life without love is a waste.
Dun stay single.You will regret not taking my advice.Life should come with love and sex.,children..
Only then it is complete.If you are filial,pls dun disappoint your dad.
He will be more complete if he sees you getting married.
If LWL got no elligble bachelors. I can recommend a long list of solo cases in the Brotherhood. The only problem is they all seem to be in plantations located in far flung corners of the world. Looks don’t seem important to them, but from what I’ve heard, their women must be strong and not gossipy.They all lead very Spartan lives. But from what I see, they are lead very fulfdilling lives. The greatest thing in life is to love and be loved.
harlor…
in or near 2 weeks time…
i am gettin hitched to a foreign import
a beautifool cebu lass…
enough foolin from meself..sumore gettin hearts attracts as well…
me whole familly is relieved…
this time i got to give angpows instead of receivin them by law…
who not married ere?
i got many cebus availiable..includin humsum guys..
Dr Lee WL is the only humane human amongst the Lee dynasty. As to her musing that LKY told her about remaining single, it shows either LKY is a selfish father or perhaps it is an excuse for her not getting married. After all LKY is a leader and his he should lead by example. Keep asking locals to give birth to replenish our population and putting down a female student for pursuing study instead of getting a boyfriend. So what about his own daughter ?
georgia tong1 November 2011
Dr Lee WL is the only humane human amongst the Lee dynasty. As to her musing that LKY told her about remaining single
………….
actually hor..i 1/3 2 kausiau weiling in order 2 lubb shoulders with laulee and hav 2 grand broinlaw…
butt after seein the rules/conditions of hoching’s parents…
i decided to visit shaolin temple and do the 69 kungfool stances and graduated as panda III…
Whether Singapore was lucky to get a Lky or Lky was lucky to get Singapore is an open ended question as he has not yet relinquished his political posts.
If he had done so in the 80′s, todays problems would have been blamed on his son Lhl. Lky claims he is not in charge but noone believes that statement. Every function of the various ministries goes to his table in the form of “FOR YOUR INFORMATION”.
Lky had been a reasonable man not to swindle Singapore and managed it to remain viable for the next 50 years. Lky and his team should be thanked for saving/insvesting/managing the trillions dollar of Singapore’s assets.
Hopefully Lky and his team has the moral courage to let it go when they are found incompetent.
Eugene
Lky and his team should be thanked for saving/insvesting/managing the trillions dollar of Singapore’s assets.
Hopefully Lky and his team has the moral courage to let it go when they are found incompetent.
……………..
and we must also thanked him for the $230 billions deflicts loan owed to world bank as well…ow come we owed more than the Thais?
so who is better? thaksin or leekingyou?
I agree with the writer. I think that it is only a small part of Singapore which still think that Singapore needs LKY. The sooner all of us learn that no man is indispensable in the political arena, the more confidence Singaporeans will have in themselves and our great nation. Moving forward, our leaders have to start thinking out of the old political box set up by the first and even the second generation political leaders. We have different challenges for this era of our nationhood and require different mindset and philosophy. If our leaders and senior civil servants cannot think ahead or in step with prevailing times and continue to languish in the politico-economic philosophy of the past generations, our country risk being left behind.
The day Papies stop hiding into the phrase ‘National Interests’ and should reveal the actual cause of the $230 billion deficits.
I believe that the GLCs and soveriegn funds are hiding under the cloak of ‘national interests’. The papies fear that if they reveal the actual assets they are manageing runs into trillions they will have to do more for the bottom 20% of Singaporeans.
So the papies are in no hurry to reveal anything yet. Meanwhile as Lky said to a student in NTU when the student raised the issues of the poor, “You go and think of the solutions and let me know when me meet the next time”.
iVOTEahMENG1 November 2011
harlor…
who not married ere?
i got many cebus availiable…
…….
I want moi want.
Chia Pah Kah Eng Ah (literal translation: too free) writing this article. Every child has a right to his/her views on his/her parent/s. Everybody’s mother is the best in the world; so how?
Why wtf what comment u write? Did it get moderated?
eh armstrong, every child has a right to write about his or her parents true but everyone also has a right to sense the propaganda and make a free comment esp when the writer is constantly waxing lyrical about the Lee Dynasty ok. Post this comment u chia pa bo sai bang man!
eh by writer i mean LWL ok not TOC.
No one can Disagree with me when i say :
No one has the chance to choose his parents nor the country to be born in.
I maybe born a sporean, but it was not my decision then.
Who can debunk me ?
The answer is no one.
dear Sad and Tired, 1 November 2011
you have misunderstood my post. i am commenting from a personal point of view- that of Ms Lee WL. the article is written on a rather personal level, one can say from daughter to father. more an opinion piece than an acadamic one.
sometimes, like i said b4. dun read too much into it. the article is published in mouthpiece. mouthpiece will do what it does, as one expect.
if you read it & have thought about it, you would have concluded the article viewed with rose-tinted vision. LKY is her father, not yours, not mine, if you read my post further on after the “but wait”, do you think i share her opinion on some things?
Lwl must be v rich. Certainly plenty of takers?
LWL – still single!!! Hmm
I wonder how did this happen? Where is that Sri Lankan boyfriend of hers who was chased out of the country by LKY through the various government machinery?
My father is definitely greater than LKY as my father did not chase my girlfriend out of the country as I married her. LKY may have done wonders for the country but he is pathetic as a father.
A couple w/o marriage cert with true love is more happiness than an unhappy couple with a certificate.
There is no need the certificate to :
. Fall in love
. Live together
. Have children
. Be happy
Agree?
Don’t be naive. No marriage means the guy can just have his sex and don’t need to pay. Better yet, after some time, young chicks taste better. Marriage gives more to women. Be thankful a guy wanna tie the knot of death.
While the writer tries to make his point. Personally I think the gist of Dr Lee’s article is misunderstood. Notwithstanding what some may say, readers can discern from her writings someone who has a lot of feelings and conscience and thus I find some of the comments unfair.
Leaving aside the parent and child role, what was stated in terms of beneficiary in the event that she did not get married is a truthful statement.
She is very filial. And a very good doctor, not the money type who have forgotten the very reason for being a doctor.
As for the statements on LKY, it is a fact that he led a small group of men who later together with him, transformed Singapore. He was the leader and as you cannot turn back the clock, his factual achievements, leadership cannot be changed.
There are other great man in history, but as for Singapore LKY is indeed the founding father.
Likewise there are many issues facing Singapore now, but it does not change the fact or the man’s achievements.
Heartlander
There are other great man in history, but as for Singapore LKY is indeed the founding father.
…………
so is adolf hitler..he also foundin father what..
best of all..he ain’t even a purebred german…
i don’t see abraham lincoln ropin in his family into the american senate nor sharin the us$ amon his familly?
why abraham lincon is not an ape perhaps?
Genghis Khan once held sway over much of Asia and Europe. So did Salah-uddin. Many of us remember them for their achievements. Will history be as generous to LKY?
Disagree with both the original piece and this article.
Original Piece:
It’s is wrong for a LKY or any father to suggest that a daughter does not get married so that she can take care of him in old age. It reeks of selfishness. If every parent felt that way, then the soceity would become stagnant and decline very quickly. The decision should live with each & every person to make on their own.
TOC article:
The point of ‘marriageable age’ is beyong comprehension. Saying Apr-Aug is summer does not mean that other months are not hot. Similarly this term in no way precludes or even suggests that one cannot marry outside this limit. Calling this damaging to singaporean soceity is just too silly even to be laughed at.
I don’t agree e_nonymous. I think many women feel the pressure that they should not feel to get married. So for someone in the spotlight to say that makes the pressure worse. Completely outdated and bad example to young people and to women. I don’t want my daughter to feel pressure that she needs to get married by a certain age.
When a marriage is done, it usally is a big public event. Guest are invited, eveybody knows.
But when a divorce happens it so quiet, sometimes you wonder.
It will be interesting to have a web-site to announce any divorce proceeding filed, this way anybody who have reason to “object” can do so.
JohnJohn
Marriage cert is more to protect women of the old era than now bcos they claim on-par with men. Equality.
When frogs living in a well looked up and saw the sky above and shouted “woh! the sky was very big”. No words can convince those frogs that it was not.Not only when those frogs could jump out of the hole in the well to see and appreciate the universe and that their believed was dead wrong. But those frogs still living in the well would still be right after all.