~by: Raymond Anthony Fernando~
“At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by “I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”
-Mother Teresa
The above caption by Mother Teresa sums up why we must treat every human being – despite their circumstances, with dignity, love and respect.
In presenting this article, I will draw on my personal experiences in caring for my wife, Doris who has battled schizophrenia for 40 years. Her struggles with schizophrenia for 4 decades is the bad news. The good news is that she is coping well and has contributed much to society – in terms of literary skills.
Tackling suicides
Recently, a Straits Time reader who read reports that people were committing suicide at the Bedok Reservoir appealed to the media to cease sensationalizing suicides as it could lead to a copycat syndrome. The media can play a part in this by highlighting stories of people who have overcome adversities in life and have gone on to lead perfectly normal lives.
With the financial crisis looming, more people will be vulnerable to falling into depression when they are unable to cope with the stresses of life. Let us help them to value life. But rather then sweep the problem of suicide or mental illness under the carpet, I hope everyone will play their part in helping to support those who are in dire need of support.
Sometimes, all those suffering from stress and depression just need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on. So let us use the new media, including Facebook to support our brothers and sisters who find it difficult to cope. Though I have a heavy load on my plate in looking after my wife who is also struggling with advanced arthritis, I do squeeze time to comfort and support anyone on the new media, including Facebook, who are distressed.
For its part, I hope all Members of Parliament, including those in the Opposition will work together to find quick and sustainable solutions to helping the mentally ill and their caregivers. I am prepared to sit on their sub-committees and contribute.
Medisave for mental illness
The recent move by the Ministry of Health to allow Medisave (MOH) to be used to cover outpatient treatment for two more types of mental illness is welcome news. Indeed, this is the step in the right direction and I’m glad that the Government is listening to feedback. If patients seeking treatment for such conditions have a fulltime job and are contributing to Medisave, then this new
scheme by MOH will benefit psychiatric patients.
However, if patients do not have a fulltime job, then I hope the Government will continue to provide Medifund for them. Because many of them cannot secure job; partly because of the stigma that is associated with the illness.
I have mental illness. Can I get a job?
Should a person declare if he/she has a mental illness to their employers? What are the pros and cons of disclosing a mental health issue to your employer?
Charity worker Choe from the U.K. who suffered from depression was struggling to cope when her boss started breathing down her neck for her poor performance. The boss was unaware of the circumstances which led to her depression. Choe realizing that she had nothing to lose, decided to confide in her boss about her condition and circumstances. She was pleasantly surprised by the positive response, including being offered support including weekly catch-ups to prioritise her workload, flexible working and afternoon naps to help her cope with the side effects of her medication.
During the 70s’ when my wife, Doris was gainfully employed as a secretary, her boss – a Malaysian who ran a business in Singapore was very supportive of her. He did not discriminate against her mental illness condition, but valued her competence and entrusted her with many responsibilities. Doris’ colleagues were equally supportive. All these factors helped her from falling into relapses of
But how many employers are willing to give the mentally ill who are seeking treatment a chance a life? There are cases of psychiatric patients being fired, forced to quit or careers kept in the cold storage when they declare that they have a mental health issue. Worse still, would these citizens be able to secure a job if they indicate that they are seeking treatment for a psychiatric condition? How many enlightened employers are there in Singapore who will help these patients to move on in life?her schizophrenia.
On the jobs issue, I urge the Government and the private sector to do away with the mandatory declaration on the job application forms that requires the applicant to declare if he/she is suffering from a mental illness condition. This requirement handed down from the colonial times is clearly outdated and needs to be removed- if we want to give equal opportunity to all our citizens. Once the Government takes the lead, the private sector will follow suit.
There are psychiatric patients who have good skills and can work from home under the close supervision of their caregivers. This is where the Government and companies doing well can help. For instance, they could help fund or sponsor books that psychiatric patients or their caregivers could write, and then allow them to retain the royalties from the sale of the books.Provide help schemes for the mentally ill and their caregivers
I have relatives and even friends who through seeking treatment for their Bipolar, Schizophrenia and Depression conditions are coping well and would like to write about their journey and coping skills. But to self- publish is costly; you need at least $6,000 to publish 500 copies. Allowing these patients to tell their true stories will not only raise more awareness of the various types of mental illness, but it will also pave the way for them to find a career – in writing.
Build the infrastructure to support patients/family members
To enable caregivers and patients to seek treatment at IMH, you need to build the infrastructure. For example, provide an efficient transport system that allows both family members and patients to travel on public transport buses that plays the grounds of IMH 7 days a week. This will not only allow encourage treatment, but will also give better protection to the hospital staff working on night shifts. I raised this issue in the press, but to-date, no such service has been implemented. The other advantage: By bringing the buses right to the doorstep of IMH, people will slowly accept that in an urban city where life is fast paced, seeking treatment at this hospital is normal. So I hope that this suggestion can be implemented soon so that caregiving will be raised to a much higher level.
Public education on mental illness
There are many in society that cannot accept the mentally ill because of myths. They believe that the mentally ill are violent, cannot function and are trouble makers. That they have split personalities.
I can assure everyone that with treatment, psychiatric patients can go on to lead perfectly normal lives and even contribute much to the economy. All they need is support and sustainable treatment.
We need to reach out to the heartlands and educate the public- to the Residents Communities, to the CDCs, to train the grassroots leaders and staff on how to manage mental illness, what are the warning signs etc,. Once they are equipped with the knowledge, these grassroots leaders/staff can help those struggling to cope with help schemes. Let us create a one-stop centre so that our citizens do not have to go from one place to another to secure assistance.
A couple of years ago, I suggested, through The New Paper that the Government set up a database for these marginalized citizens and mirror the confidential information to the CCs or RCs so that people struggling with mental illness can get help immediately.
I read with much interest, Mayor of North East CDC Teo Ser Luck’s implementation of a good scheme that will help the mentally ill and the needy. I am willing to reach out to his Ministry at MCYS, to his CDC and to all CCs in Singapore to give a motivational talk on my wife’s 40 year battle with schizophrenia and how I have helped her in her recovery. IMH ropes me in often to give such talks, but I want to reach out to as many people and organizations so that there will be greater awareness of mental illness and much more acceptance of the mentally ill in our society.
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The writer is the recipient of Model Caregiver 2007 and Mental Health Champion 2010 awards. He blogs at http://www.rayofhope.per.sg/.
Dear Moderator: The website address is incorrect. There should be a slash after the .sg
Like this: http://www.rayofhope.per.sg/
Pse amend & update. Thanks.
Raymond Anthony Fernando
Some ppl have mental disorder but still successful in getting rich. Eg. Slave driver employers. Dictraitors paranoid of change . Ruthless businessmen growth at all cost. Ppl who cannot take criticisms. People kiasu to the extreme that he controls the referee, come up rules that make his competitors badly handicapped, controls everything so that he is satisfied there can be no freak outcome.
So, my point is its merely a mere mortal misconception that stigmatise mental patients.
There are extreme cases that require imh. But not all are like this. Many have mental illness as described but because they never admit or know it, people do not know he is mentally sick.
Depression is just 1 form. Schizo another. Extreme kiasi kiasu another. Paranoia another.
Depression in my view is most common. Most will have at least 1 time of depression in their lives.
So my point is its toi unfair to discriminate mentally ill people who are contributing to society and they do not harm people unlike dictators, who, in me view, are sick psychos.
Last but not least, psychological illness are SILENT KILLERS.
It is really tough to have a member of a family suffering from mental illness. Taking good care of the patient is a superhuman feat. It requires daily sacrifice, lots of tender love and patience.
I am full of admiration for the writer who has devoted 40 years of his life in taking loving care of his wife.
Even in this day and age, there are very many people who are convinced that mental illness is a hoax put up to deceive, or is just an affliction of the weak-minded and can be shrugged off anytime if wished.
That psychiatrists are quacks who over prescribe to earn bi bucks.
But they will never understand until
1) They themselves come down with a problem.
2) Someone they are close to gets a problem.
3) Someone they love kills himself/herself.
It is a shame, but it is the only way most people will learn.
Thank you so much . Your comment – and always a positive one, was perfect. Today is Doris’ birthday. So this was uplifting for me when I read it today. Yes, she is a good person- born on All Saints Day. gave her a surprise this morning- bought her 5 lovely red roses. Cos’ she loves Roses. God provides – always. These are little gestures that help to uplift her. God Bless you, Titiana Ann Xavier. If everyone was as understanding as you, the mentally ill will surely find a place in our stigmatised world.
In pragmatic sg , its one per 100,000 who willing to marry a ill person if known fully beforehand.
Marriage is for good times only, unless forced to be bound.
To Raymond Anthony Fernando,
Please convey my birthday greetings to your wife. I want to wish her a very happy birthday.
Thank you.
Thanks, Titiana.As always, you are so sweet.
To Ray,
Please do convey my birthday greetings to your wife.
And yes it takes a lot of stamina, strength and Mostly Love.
It is very painful to see someone you love go through an illness and especially what we all ask for is not riches but health and well being.
The fact that you gave 40 years of your life.
My heartfelt admiration of your steadfast love.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Thanks, Heartlander. People like you are helping me in continuing my journey in caring for Doris. I’ve just counselled someone on Facebook whose lady friend is contemplating suicide. Give her good advice. To value life and to seek treatment.
Dear Mr Fernando
Thank you very much for sharing your amazing journey you’ve had with your dear wife. Very inspirational and never fail to touch me. Perhaps this is what true love is all about. Cheerio :D
to ALL concerned…
regardin medical after discharged care…
this whole week.. i been to various clinics to follow up on me case$…
the bills is gettin beyon me pockets(as mentioned b4..i am a adhoc worker)
i already spent a near $150 for consultations in 2 department with MORE specialist consultants to follow up
I AM NOT KIACEE TYPE..also mentioned that i would rather terminate meself if i find it is unaffortable within my means(i really don’t know what the FUKC is me medicsaves/medicshield
in the unwithdrawable cpf’s savin is meant for?)
already paid $150 in ca$h upfront
tomorrow another heart test comin up
i was POLITELY REMINDED to brin in cash another $150++ for that heart test
i told the staff where is me medicsaves fund as i hav told the social welfare dept when i was warded..i simply cannot afford to pay in ca$h for follows up consultation
now it seem that after discharged the hospital ministry still tried to ACT blurred deaf and dumb…
I AM NOT SEEKIN FREE treatments..just ulitilize me cpf medicsaves…
so hospital staff says will try their best to consult social welfare on that groun…
i told hospital staff..if you waant$ ca$h upfront for ALL consultations/EXPERIMENTs
over me dead carcass…
~PERIOD~
imagined this REALLIVE SCENERIO…
who in this world can afford a near $400/$500 consultations per month for a partime adhoc worker?